Cloudy with a Chance of Brilliance

Originally written 10/10/2022

I wake up way too early again. I make my coffee and I sit down in front of the computer. I stare at the blank page as if it's going to tell me exactly what to write. As if it's going to tell me exactly what to do with my life. As if it's going to guide me in some way. And then I browse through other things. I check Facebook, Twitter, and the weather. I look for some spark of inspiration somewhere. Just anything that will signal to me that I should write or start some other project.

It comes to me that it's all inside of me. When I'm looking through Facebook or Twitter I'm really only looking for things I already know within myself. I have all the power within me to create great things. I have all the power to do great things. I'm just looking for the approval of others. The approval that I don't really need.

I know what I want. I want to write. I want to educate about mental illness. I want to cook as often as possible for as many people as possible. I want to help the planet and animals. I want to be the best mom possible. I want to be the best partner possible. Its all there. My passions are all right there bigger than life. I just have to rise above the clouds in order to see them.

The clouds of my mental illness. The clouds of my physical ailments. My passions must be the sun that breaks through them. There may be the occasional storm, but the sun will always shine. Those passions will always be there. They have always been there. My illness has just made it seem like they are impossible or improbable.

Even though it's cloudy there is a chance of brilliance. A chance to become more than my illness. A chance to do everything that I want to do. I may have to take it in stride, but I will get there. One day at a time. One moment at time.