I'm Not Normal, And That's Okay
Seven years, seven years of what felt like normalcy. No mania, little depression and absolutely no psych meds and then all of sudden I am here again. An ache in my chest and a restless mind that won't let me sleep. As if I'm that 30 year old that had lost all control, but I haven't. I still show up for work everyday and do my job. I still take care of myself an my family. It definitely hasn't won yet, but I feel lost, worthless and more than a little angry. I believe the last 7 years I have lived in ignorance, maybe even denial. I thought that maybe I had "beat" bipolar disorder. I won. It seemed to have for all intensive purposes to have vanished. Whatever symptoms came up I believed I could just use my coping skills and that they would be all but extinguished. What I didn't expect is that regardless of how well I think I'm doing, I can't cope myself out of the massive amount of trauma I have experienced over the years. The pain that's been ...
